Americans 1 Russkies 0 – Well we’re back, the Russkie hackers have been defeated. In the time we have been away I have been tied up in my usual business problems, but my decision to wait until I take an early retirement and get a serious bankroll has taken some weight off my expectations. I am playing with some freedom. I got donked out at a final table recently, after 6 hours of graft, by a player with AT calling my all in raise with AK and hitting a ten, but it happens. That is the situation I want. I just don’t want the donk getting lucky. I am now in a position where I don’t have to make money at the game so things become easier to take. What really pleased me was the way I played and the way I got over the suckout. At the time I was angry but it only lasted a few seconds. The reactions of the other players were  “how can you possibly call with that?!” That he did is the reason I still play, and intend to keep myself match fit.

Bleeding obvious – The man in charge of a lot of the TV tournaments in the UK is “Mad” Marty Wilson. Sometimes, just as in live multi table tournaments, a player will call on him for the clock when someone is taking a long time to make a decision. A player once asked Marty how long he had to think. Marty replied, “obviously the rest of your life.”

Bring me another live one – In a slightly bizarre twist to the apocryphal “bring me a live one” tale comes the following true tale. I was playing with a guy called Ray who is sadly getting married and moving to Michigan, USA. While over there he sometimes plays in a dingy Flint casino. He was going to play one night but had to cancel, which is just as well, because in the middle of a game, this guy comes in and tries to hold up the casino, fires a couple of shots into the ceiling and is promptly shot dead by guards. Ray said knowing his luck, the shots would have rebounded and hit him. The poker players, being poker players, then continued to play with the body waiting to be collected. My sort of poker players.

Do you feel lucky punk? – Bad players love 50-50’s because 90 per cent of the time that’s the best situation they ever find with all their chips in the centre. Good players hate 50-50’s because 90 per cent of the time that’s the worst situation they ever find with all their chips in the centre.

I think I can now make the official announcement. I am no longer a player. Truth is I haven’t been a player for a long time now. The last 18 months have been so horrible I have just been unable to handle the game, so I have played less and less, until now I cannot even call myself a part time player any more.

Part of the problem comes from being unable to win a 50-50 or 70-30 all in when it really counts. Close to the money that is. Whenever it seems to be a big pot or a chance to knock a player out, take his stack, and go to the final table with a big stack. I cannot win. I have to admit it has affected my game.

Same thing happened tonight that has been happening to me for 18 months now. I stay in the game by somehow grinding away and keeping a playable stack. I get some chips. We get down to a few players, and finally my chips go all in as 50-50 or 70-30 favourite and I lose, when I just needed to win to make the final table. My chips very rarely go into the centre. When they do, 90 per cent of the time I am favourite. Now I will admit I am not the greatest player in the world, so that means I have to rely on luck more than the better players, I admit that. Still, I am not that bad. I have made final tables this year and somehow managed to keep afloat. I have managed to break even on the year so far, but it feels like a big loss the way things are. I am totally and utterly dispirited. I am not talking about internet here. I am talking about live. Internet just isn’t poker in my book. The bad run I am talking about probably consists of enough unlikely losses to just account for one half afternoon of play on the internet. It’s just a lot of the all in losses I have suffered have really hurt. It’s difficult to describe how it feels to get so close time after time, and then lose a 50-50 or 70-30. Now if I were a better player I would have built up enough of a stack to take a bad beat or so. I know that. It just sickens me to continually go out of a tourney, close to the money, or just in the money, the one time my chips go in the centre.

The following tournament was £31 entry plus £5 fee and starting stack of 9500. 41 entries. Two 30 minute blinds of 25/50 and 50/100 after which blinds went up every 22 minutes.

I received one playable hand in the first hour and a half. I have QQ under the gun and raise the 50/100 blind to 500. I get 4 callers. A short stack calls in middle and this makes everyone decide they now have pot odds, including the BB who is next to me and an experienced player. The flop comes 5 7 9 all clubs. Oh great, an internet flop. The BB bets 1200 and I think for a short while but am done. I do have the queen of clubs, but the BB could have the ace of clubs. More likely he is all over that flop. I have played with him for 10 years and know he is not betting into a field of 4 other players without a very good hand. Everyone folds. He turns over pocket 5’s.

I won one hand in 2 hours. I had a BB special when I hit two pair with a 6-4. I got called on the flop with my 600 bet and there was a fold when I followed up on 4th with 2000. I was going all the way with the hand no matter what.

Blinds are 300/600. I pick up AJ on the button. I probably overbet with 2000 from my 8000 stack but i want to make it clear I have a hand. The young player next to me reraises me about the same amount. “Looks like a massive hand,” I said. I fold. He is about to muck but his cards hit my hand as I am shifting the deck. He has pocket queens. “Nice fold,” are the comments.

I am close to desperation with barely 10 times the BB. No time for poker, just one move. I have QK in late and move all in. No callers. That buys me an extra round. I am willing to fall to less times the BB than most. I am willing to get as low as 5 times the BB before I get really desperate.

400/800. A useful young player raises to 3000 from early. I have 77 in middle and I hate 50-50’s but I have no alternative. I reraise all in for just over 4000 more. Very surprisingly the young player folds and turns over AJ. Later this same young player moves all in from early and turns over T5. He says he likes to confuse and get people going. Mission accomplished.

500/1000. The same young player raises from early to 3000. I am all in with AT for 7000 more. He calls this time and turns over A4. There then follows an internet flop. It comes 5 6 7 8. I kid you not. The first three cards were not in the order of exactly 5 6 7 but there was an 8 on 4th. Then I hit a miracle card on the river – 9. I don’t know why I should feel so lucky but I do. Why can’t anything just be easy and stress free for once? I told him if he hadn’t flashed the T5 all in early I may well have passed the AT as I had him down as a player with a really good image. This is what happens when you flaunt it.

600/1200. I have kings in early. I raise to 4000. I really don’t want much action. I do not want 2 callers. If I had picked them up in later I would maybe have raised less. I take down the pot with no resistance, but that is okay. Next hand would you believe KK. This time I am under the gun. I just move all in for 16,000. This raises a few eyebrows. No one calls. Fine.

I am in the small blind with A5 and it is folded around to me. The BB is the young player who had queens against my AJ earlier. I raise to 3000. He calls. The flop comes 334 rainbow. If that kid has hit, too bad. The chances are that he hasn’t, and I am still ahead. I consider a 5000 bet, but what happens if he takes an opinion and reraises. I push all in for the rest of my stack, another 14,000. He doesn’t like it, and turns over KJ. I made the right move. Next time around I have 8T and call. The flop comes T94. I move all in again. I show my ten after he folds, and is the one time on the evening I willingly turn over a hand. Not giving him a chance to call a smaller bet and hit something. I have been getting more aggressive and want to maintain a tight rock like image.

1000/2000. A young mouthy kid who has an enormous stack and a spotty pox marked face has just lost with AK to KK after joining our table. I have aces and know he will call if I price him in. I raise to 5000 and Pizza Face calls from the SB as I thought he would. I probably didn’t raise enough. The flop comes 3 rags and I am all in. Pizza face is unhappy and says I am clearly behind or I wouldn’t bet him out of the pot. He turns over JQ and folds. I told him “I wanted you in the pot preflop, you contributed, then I wanted you out of the pot. This winds him up as I knew it would. He will call any reraise I make in all probablilty. He is dumb enough to do this anyway. I just need him not to get lucky on me when the chips do go in, as I know there’s a strong chance I am going in as big favourite.

I have a 50-50 against the player who showed T5 and folded with AJ earlier. I have 99 in early. He has KT and it’s a 50-50. No good having positive thoughts when your only experience with 50-50’s is losing when it really counts and you’re close to a finals table. He wins and I lose half my stack.

A short time later I go in with AQ against AT. Yes. it’s Pizza Face who has raised in early with AT. I reraise all in and another player calls with KT in late “because of the odds.” He turns over KT, which means Pizza face has 2 outs to hit against me. Naturally a 2 outer ten hits, and Pizza face goes straight to the final table with a big grin on his face. KT Numbskull and me are out the door. I got Pizza face right where I wanted him and lose. Wouldn’t have changed anything, because that’s what you strive for. Getting close to the endgame and getting them all in as big favourite is just what you want. Could have done without the other caller, honestly don’t know how he can call there. I knew I would get Pizza Face as big dog. Just had a feeling I did not have any chance of winning that hand. Pros go through this sort of thing all the time. They know they have the skill so can deal with it. As a borderline winner I find it a lot harder to take.

If you play for a long time you go through this. Most I have played with over the years have given up, gone broke, or turned pro. I am still playing but I am not feeling good about the game. I am not enjoying it. There is still a small core of players left  who I have been playing with for a number of years. For some the game and winning comes easy, but it is not an easy game. The fields are now a lot smaller and there are fewer suckers around. Pizza Face should have been an easy meal, a delicious snack, but it doesn’t always turn out that way.

The entry is £30 + £5 for a starting stack of 8000 chips, although in a bid to encourage players to turn up on time you can purchase 1500 extra chips for £1. So my starting stack is 9500. There are two 30 minute blinds of 25/50 and 50/100. Afer this they go up every 25 and 22 minutes.

Blinds 150/300 I have won 2 hands in 90 minutes. My desperation is such that when I finally get aces (my first playable hand) I slowplay and just call. Bad idea. Even the aggressive players limp. There are 5 in the pot. Bugger it. Okay it’s my own fault, I know that. The flop comes K T 8 rainbow. That is not a bad flop so I bet 500. Everyone folds.

I am in the BB with 69. One caller in middle. The flop comes 5 2 J. It goes check check. There’s a 4 on 4th. I look very carefully at that 4, and bet 300. The flop looks like a BB special. My opponent folds. A very good player says “good fold.” At least my table image is still good.

I call with AQ under the gun. There is a very aggressive player who nearly always raises when there are limpers. He knows what I am planning. I look at him and smile. “Any raise?” I ask. He just flat calls. Flop comes K J rag. The ultra aggressive player bets 1200 and I am done with the hand. Doesn’t matter if he is bluffing. He has been stealing my blind and I have let him. I later go all in on his BB but I did have AK at the time. The score for stealing blinds is 2-0 to him. He is a very good player, and I give him credit for that. It’s just sometimes he oversteps the mark. Half an hour later he raises and gets called by a good young player. Flop comes Q and 2 rags. The aggressive player moves all in and gets called. The aggressive player has AK and the young player has JJ. A jack hits on the river although not needed. The aggressive player is out. He has previously moved all in with T5 from under the gun and got it through. I cannot play like that. I sort of admire those who can. He has controlled aggression for the most part, and can sense weakness.

Blinds 200/400. I am down to just over 10 times the BB. I find AK and TT in two out of the next four hands. I am all in no matter what. I don’t get called. There are murmurs about me going from a rock to a maniac. I find QT in the big blind. Flop comes 8 9 J rainbow. It doesn’t get more perfect than that. I honestly don’t remember the last time I hit a hand full on. It must be a million years. I bet 600 and get called in 2 places. There’s a 6 on the river and I am not messing about. I do not want to see a king, queen, or ten hit and give someone a higher straight. I bet all in for another 4000 and am stunned to get called by a 78. He is pretty much drawing dead. I don’t understand the call, but I don’t have to.

Blinds 600/1200. A massive stack joins our table. He must have about 50,000. He is the first of two chip leaders to join my table on my right that night. You always wonder how they got them. How were they playing and what were they doing? Both the leaders were young. The second one was young and Asian. I expected both of them to be highly aggresive. I was wrong. In fact both of them are destined to play very well, get cruel luck, and find their stack decimated through no fault of their own. The young leader plays his first hand after about 20 minutes. He raises to 7000. It is his first raise and he had hardly contested a pot willingly yet. It looks like a big raise from someone who doesn’t want too many in the pot, rather than that of a bully. I put him on QQ KK AA AK or AQ. He gets one caller, a middle aged woman who has played quite conservatively. The flop comes a rainbow Q 7 4. The chip leader instantly moves all in. The woman thinks for ages then calls 14,000 more. The leader turns over aces and she turns over trip 7’s. Unreal. She said she was thinking he had trip queens, and was unsure about the call. In all honesty if you are going to play a hand like 77 to a massive raise from the chip leader preflop, and then hit trips it is one of the few things in the game that is a no brainer. Have to admit I’d have folded those 7’s preflop. I thought it was a horrid call. The poor lad with the aces looked pretty sick.

Blinds 800/1600. I am in the BB with 6-3. Two callers, the ex chip leader, and his nemesis, the middle aged woman. The flop comes 3 6 K. I bundle 7000 into the centre and get called by the woman. The ex leader has since lost some more chips and is down to 10,000. He reraises all in. I put him on a king. I don’t know what the woman has, but I fear a higher two pair or draw. I really want to reraise and say so. One or two think I can, but it’s an under raise. So I have to call. If I am dead to a higher two pair so be it, but I do not want to give the woman a chance to hit a draw. A 4 comes on 4th. That is a very dangerous card and looks to be good for a drawing hand. I go all in. I want the woman out of the pot if she is behind. She folds telling me she was drawing. Thankfully it wasn’t a 4 she was looking for. The ex chip leader does have a king but misses his outs and he is gone. I am up to a stack of around 50,000. For the first time in ages at a table I have a comfortable stack.

Things have gone so swimmingly I make the horrible mistake of thinking AK is a fu**ing poker hand, and raise with it preflop. The short stack reraises all in for an extra 4000 and I cannot remember the last time I won a 50-50. Naturally he won with his 44 but at least it only cost me 9000. I have no problems with the reraise either given his situation.  

A rock like woman who has not seen a hand goes all in from early. I have AK in late and reraise all in to discourage anyone else from calling. It’s heads up and I win one.

Blinds 1000/2000. I have AQ in the SB. The chip leader to my right has just called. I just call with AQ. The BB to my left calls. He thinks for an age before checking preflop. The flop comes A 7 2. I bet 6000. Thankfully the chip leader folds, I was suspecting (wrongly) he was slow playing a monster, but the shortish stack to my left in the BB calls. There’s a rag on 4th and I push all in. I half expect the BB to turn over A7 for two pair. I think he has an ace of some sort, especially as he took a long time to consider whether to raise pre flop or just call. I figure by now I am ahead. He thinks for a couple of minutes then calls with A6. There is no suckout and we are down to 11 players.

Final table. I take about 45,000 chips. Blinds 1000/2000. There are two calls from early. One from a middle stack and one from a short stack. I have JJ and move all in. There are no callers.

I find AQ in middle. There is a raise from the woman who hit trip 7’s. I reraise her all in and she calls with A7. She says she hasn’t seen anything for ages and is getting tired. Her stack has dwindled since the suckout but she still has about 15,000. That’s enough to hurt me. My hand holds up.

I did not play that well I have to admit. I played far too weak tight. When down to 7 players and blinds 1000/2000 the big stack in the SB raises to 7000. I look down at a pair of 9’s and fold. I am one of the 3 big stacks and he is the only player at the table who can bust me. He is probably stealing, but on the other hand he has shown down nothing but quality all night. He is shortly to go on a run so painful it could usually only happen to me. I felt genuinely sorry for him.

The first hand of his fall sees him call an all in with 88 against a late position all in from a short stack. The short stack has K2. The king is the door card on the flop. He then loses a 50-50. Then against the next biggest stack he gets reraised and calls. She is a very aggressive female player. He turns over kings, she turns over aces. This isn’t online. It’s an age since I have seen kings versus aces live. The aces hold. He then finally wins one all in. A few hands later the agressive female player raises to 12000 from early. He is all in and she only has to call another 10,000 from his all in. “That’s the trouble being over aggressive with rag hands,” I said, “you are then committed to the pot as a huge underdog.” She had A7 against his AQ. A 7 came on 4th and he was out. Brutal.

Earlier I had been outplayed by her. In the SB I raise with 77 against her BB. She calls. The flop is A A K. I bet 10,000 and she folds. Next time round I have A9 clubs on the button. I raise to 9000 as there is a player on only 11,000 in the big blind. She is in the SB and calls. The BB short stack folds. The flop comes Kh Ad 6h. She goes all in for 20,000. That is half my stack. I think for a long time. I fold. I play too weak. She turns over Kh 8h. She has 9 outs for the flush plus 2 kings and 3 8’s. She is favourite but a better player than myself, one who was truly going for the win, would have called. “I just don’t understand why you made that call with K8 suited,” I said. “Maybe to do just that.” “Yes exactly, to do just that,” she said. She is well known as a pushy player, but it isn’t my sort of game. I am folding K8 to a player who only plays nut hands, under those circumstances.

Maybe it was the poker gods punishing me for playing too weak, but that was the last hand I saw. I was down to 30,000 and blinds of 4000/8000. It’s 3 handed and I am on the button with K8. It’s all in. I get called by the other two and I am out.

I would like to note that despite the aces against kings we have played for 6 hours and I have only seen one pair against a big ace, and only that one big pair match up. There have been very few all ins and big match ups. We play at about 25 hands an hour. That’s 150 hands. How many big match ups do you see in an online game in 2 hours at their rate of, say, 60-70 hands an hour? It is a relief to play a live game compared to online. It’s real poker, and very rewarding even though I feel I have been through World War 3. Most hands that won were top pair or middle pair even in a multi way pot. When I had aces how many times online would I have been able to bet and take down the pot without even one opponent hitting big? It is a good feeling knowing you only have yourself to blame if you screw up, and then coming through it all. There is no rigged poker site trying to set you up to increase their rake. There was the one big suckout of trip 7’s against the aces, one big pair match up, and there was one pair v big ace all in – the 44 v my AK. Hardly a classic big ace v big pair.

I was not the best player there. I wasn’t even one of the best if I am honest. I played too weak tight all night. The reason I did so was that getting a high position meant more to me than going for the win. This is not a winning attitude. But my morale just could not take another oh so close to the money but not quite, finish. I sacrificed my chance of winning for a better chance to finish high in the money. It’s a psychological thing. I needed a boost to help my morale and that high finish achieved that. In many respects I was playing more for my morale and state of mind than the money. In the long run that can be worth something in real terms if it helps me play better. I know that even an idiot can play good cards. I probably survived longer than an impatient player would have, given my early cards, but a better player would have made more of my later cards.

There was a guy called Crash on another poker forum, who would only play for play money. A number of members would not take him seriously because they considered poker is played for real money not pretend money.

With play money, the site gives you some chips which have no value, then you play poker. The better players win more play chips, but nearly everyone ends up ahead because the play money is endless. If you lose you just get more play chips.

Some of the old time players have been making remarks about how sponsors’ money has changed the game pf poker. Devilfish said some young players would not be able to survive in the old days without sponsors’ money as they would soon go broke playing in that way, using their own money. Some of the “Late Night Poker” players have said they used to play with £2000 of their own cash, but now they are playing with sponsors putting up the cash.

With the amount of money being added to the game by sponsors, players don’t have to win at the table. Ever played in one of those play chip games? There are usually three or four all in straight away. If they lose they just enter another tourney, if they win they have a big stack. It’s all about the win. Similar in fact to the way a lot of kids play the game nowadays.

I have argued before that if you are not a good player then it pays to play the game like bingo. There is so much prize money around and so many players, the rewards for winning a big tourney are tremendous. It isn’t only the prize money for winning. If you win a big tourney there is the chance of receiving sponsors’ money too. You can be an overall loser at the poker table but still make a living at it. If you are a media friendly “character” too you will receive even more money. In fact the whole thing becomes a bit like a play money tournament. This is because of the high rewards for winning rather than just finishing in the money. Once you have a sponsor, they want you to finish in a high profile win. This means even more money. In the past, when players played with their own bankroll, there was the consideration of just finishing in the prize money. This still applies to the older less media friendly professionals I think. But sponsors’ money means a lot of over aggression and going for the win. If you are not playing with your own money there is no ROI to worry about. It’s different thinking altogether.

This isn’t the whole truth, it is merely an extra dimension that is now in the game. Sponsors’ money finds its way down to the less well known pros so everyone gains. But with a lot of people just going for the win, and some with nothing to lose, it almost turns the game and the type of play, into that of a play money tourney. This is maybe why long time pros now concentrate on cash games more seriously than tournaments. This has certainly been a tendency in the past, but is now perhaps becoming more true. The ones with more talent know they can earn a consistent living out of cash. The fame, title, and big money chasers go for the tournaments.

Size does matter – One of the most underrated skills is to size your bet correctly. It can seriously harm your chances if you get it wrong. Here’s an example. You are at a final table against some very good players. Blinds are 5000/10000 and you have an average stack of 250,000. You have JJ and raise to 30,000. You get called and the flop comes with an ace. If you follow up bet with 30,000 it is saying “I am weak,” and a good pro will pick up on this. It is better to check than do that.  This is an example from a situation I saw from 2 or 3 years ago in a televised tournament. You can bet small on the river which sometimes suggests strength, but if you are going to follow up bet on the flop you have to get it right. In the real life tournament, the pro sensed weakness and reraised even though he only had a pair of fives. He had position, he had skill, and he sensed weakness. The amateur passed. Betting pattern tells are, I believe, far more useful than body language tells.

Rules rules rules – Some of the rules really irritate me. They do vary to some extent depending on where you play, but these are the ones that make no sense to me. 

1. You cannot tell people what you’re hand is. Sure you can lie, but you cannot tell the truth. Totally ridiculous. Really you are not even supposed to discuss the hand you have at all. Why not let the players play their mind games? Sometimes the truth is a deadly weapon. Let the players use all the ability, deceit, and guile, at their disposal. Are they going to ban bluffing cos it’s not honest? Or maybe ban betting with a made hand because it’s honest? Mind games are a weapon. Let people use them. If other players can’t take it, they shouldn’t be sitting down at a poker table.

2. You cannot show your cards. Why not? This rule was brought in from, what I can remember, because one player who desperately wanted to get to a final table so bad, he turned over his aces, so another player wouldn’t suckout on him. They’re your cards and your chips. How can this be cheating? How can showing your cards be considered illegal and your hand is dead. It’s ridiculous. Rules made by chimps.

3. If blinds are 100/200 and you throw in a 500 or 1000 chip it’s considered a call. Why? If you throw in a 100 plus 500 chip it’s considered a raise. So if someone throws in a raise that is a raise, let it stand as a raise. This is not consistent with the rule that if you so much as put in one 50 chip when the call is 1,000,000 it is considered a call and the other 999,950 have to go in too. More rules made by chimps.

4. No Hollywood. This rule applies more in the UK than in the US where it is considered okay. This means getting up out of your chair to leave, before your opponent calls, or too much overracting (overracting was good enough to earn Laurence Olivier a big reputation, and plenty of honours). I hate this for the same reason as number 1. Players should be able to use any mind game at their disposal to fox their opponents. Rules have been relaxed a little over here with regards to this. Staff tend to use their discretion.   

5. You are not allowed to just call with the nuts. I saw this situation arise in a televised event where a player just called with the nuts so he could see what his opponent was playing. He got told off by “Mad” Marty Wilson who was in charge of the tournament. The caller correctly put his opponent on a total bluff who would not call the reraise, and therefore just flat called in order to both see the cards, and also to emabarrass his opponent. Fair enough, in my opinion. He has the best hand, he should have the right to see his opponent’s hand. He realised the hand would be mucked, so wanted the information, which could be valuable. He had earned that right to see his opponent’s hand.       

Sometimes players do the strangest of things – It’s great if you can put someone on a hand, but sometimes even the greatest struggle to do this, when other players just do not act in a normal way. It’s like the brain freezes and insanity or some sort of perverse behaviour takes over. Here’s an example. Blinds are 200/400 and the short stack is in the big blind with 2800. There’s a call in middle and the big blind checks. Flop comes A 4 6 rainbow. The big blind moves all in for the last 2400. Probably an ace, right? Although he should have been all in preflop. Or maybe one or two pair or straight draw. The middle position player calls and turns over A 6. Ouch. But the BB turns over…. TT! But he can’t possibly have a pair of tens. He can’t possibly flat call with his stack relative to those blinds then ship it with tens on that flop. But he did. For the record a ten came on 4th to make a house. Yeah I know, it was just like an internet hand. But his luck was short lived. A few minutes later he was all in with queens against AJ and two jacks hit. You cannot put someone on a hand if they do not play rationally. If players cannot work out what you are playing this could be considered a good thing. But if you play that irrationally, you will lose. I asked him why he did not move all in preflop with the tens. He really had no answer. Others at the table remarked how he quite often has a meltdown and gives it all away. 

£30 + £5 entry. The structure is a triple chance freezout with 3×2500 chips. You can start with 2500 or your whole stack. If you start with 2500 you can then call on the rest when and if you need them. You must take all your chips after the first two half hour stages of 25/50 and 50/100. There are 23 players so there are 172,500 chips in play.

There’s a rookie middle aged woman who has never played live before. We are generally quite nice to her. Her play is unorthodox. First hand I call with Q9 on the button. The flop comes A Q T and the woman bets 100 from early. She does the “how much am I allowed to bet?” thing and gets the usual “anything you like” answer. She gets two callers. I immediately put her on an ace and fold. There’s a queen on 4th. Bugger it. She bets 100 again and gets one caller to her left. The other player looks perplexed and folds. There’s a rag on the river and she bets 100 into quite a large pot. The player to her left says “I know I’m beat but just want to see what you’re playing with,” and calls with king high. One player calls “queen” and I say “has to be an ace.” She turns over T9.

A couple of hands later there’s a raise in early and a call by the woman. The flop comes something like 9 K 8 5 2. There’s a bet on the flop by the raiser, followed by two checks on 4th, and a bet on the river by the raiser and a call by the woman. The raiser looks sheepish and turns over AQ, so does the woman, for a split pot.

I find AQ in early and raise to 200. There are 2 callers. Flop comes Q and 2 suited rags. The BB bets, who has the same name as me and so I call him ”cousin.”  He bets 200 and I reraise all in with my remaining 2000. No messing about. If he wants to draw he can pay for it. It may be over the top but every time I go in ahead in the past 18 months I get sucked out on. It makes me overly protective. He shows a queen as he passes. I muck my hand. At times during the proceedings he wants to see my hands. He doesn’t know what I am betting with, and I’m not showing.

Blinds are 50/100. I call in middle position with KQo. The flop comes Q K 3. Perfect. The rookie woman is in there along with a couple of others. I bet 300. Everyone folds except the woman. There’s a queen on 4th for the full house. How much can I bet? She is calling everything, but I don’t want to lose my customer. She has about 4000. I bet 600. She calls. 8 on the river. How much can I get away with? I consider betting the lot, but best not to get too greedy. I go for 1500. She calls and turns over K7. She’s beating nothing that any sane player could have. I’d have raised with a reasonable pair preflop, so I have to have either a queen, king or house of some sort. I couldn’t possibly be bluffing.

At one point she ends up in one hand calling on the flop and 4th with absolutely nothing, but there’s a heart on board and she turns over two hearts in her hand. “I just needed another heart” she said. Okay, it is difficult playing for the first time live. I exchange glances with a player opposite me! He has his arm in a brace, and cannot shuffle. He is young, but very alert and observant. He can play. He is genuinely perplexed, along with the rest of us. He is sitting next to the woman and a number of times she has wanted to show him her hand and ask him what to do. She looks like she is about to fold a hand on one occasion but suddenly realises she is calling not folding. She has two pair. She calls everything, but this time she was in doubt. She is definitely not one to bluff.

I have A7 clubs in middle. I raise to 300 and get 3 callers. There’s respect! The flop comes with a queen and king so I’m done with it. The player with his arm in a brace turns out to have pocket aces. He says he was just calling, hoping for a reraise in later position. Second hand low – very dangerous.  I have had A9 in early and A5 in early but folded them. I’ve raised with AQ once more and everyone has folded. My stack has gone from my starting 2500 to just over 5000. At the break the other 5000 is added so I now have 10,000. 

Blinds are 100/200. The rookie woman calls and there’s a player who started out solid but has now started to play ropey hands and bluff more. Those two play a pot together. There’s a flop of 8 4 9. The woman checks and the bluffer bets. She calls. There’s a 7 on 4th. The woman bets and the bluffer calls. There’s an ace on the river and the woman checks. The bluffer puts in a big all in bet and gets called. The woman turns over JT for the straight. The bluffer turns over K6 for sweet FA. I mentioned to a player next to me that she would have called with 3rd pair. She is the wrong player to bluff. At one point she has said to a player while playing a hand “I am not worried about you, I am worried about him,” pointing at me. Ah, that’s what I like, a good table image.

Blinds 200/400. 3 limp in and I’m in the BB with 83o. 5 for the flop. It comes K 7 T rainbow. Everyone checks. A 3 comes off on the turn. I’m not betting. Surprisingly everyone else checks too. What I need is a 3 or 8. River brings a 3. I check. It goes all the way around to the bluffer on the button who shifts 1600 into the pot. I call and everyone else folds. I’m not raising here. He could have been sitting on A3 or a strange house of some sort. Basically he isn’t calling a reraise unless he’s ahead. He turns over QJ. “I was on the straight draw,” he adds. I’m up to about 15,000.

The rookie woman calls in early and I find QQ in late. I pump 4000 into the pot. I am either taking it down here and now with no risk or making her pay to suckout. I think she will call, but she has been burned once, so throws her hand away.

Blinds are 400/800. We are down to the last 10, so playing hand for hand. I have T2 in the BB. The rookie woman calls in early and so does the SB. 3 for the flop, which comes 3 8 Q rainbow. Everyone checks. There’s a 9 on 4th, which gives me an inside straight draw. I bet 1000 and the woman puts in the call amount then announces she wants to raise. She can’t, as it is considered a string bet. I am done with the pot. The SB calls too. 4 on the river. SB checks, I check. The woman bets 1500 and gets reraised all in. I throw my hand away, the woman calls and turns over KK. The SB turns over JT for the straight. We all congratulate the woman for getting so far. It was obviously noted that if she had raised preflop she would have taken it down there and then. I take 20,000 to the final table.

At the final table the first hand I play is QQ. I raise to 3000. There’s a surprising call in late from a very conservative older player. I am concerned. The flop comes a rainbow Q 7 4. I bet 3000 into my opponent who has about 7000 left. He folds. “Cousin” says to me “you missed that flop didn’t you? You were in real trouble there.” I mucked my hand. I have hardly shown down a hand all night. Suits me. No one is working out how I am playing.

Blinds 600/1200. I have AQ in early and raise to 3000. A very young but very tight player calls my raise. He has a hand for sure. The flop comes a queen and two suited rags similar to an early situation. I bet 4000 and he folds. I have about 25,000.

“Cousin” moves all in from early position. I have raised with a big hand when it has been his BB on a couple of occasions. “Now it’s my turn,” he says. There’s an all in reraise and he turns over T3o against a big ace. The big ace holds up. Shortly after I fancy my KJ clubs in middle until it’s raised in early. I fold and the older conservative player is virtually all in from the BB. The raiser turns over AJ which holds up. We are down to 6.

One of the staff is regaling us with a story of his latest trip to Mexico. He then starts coughing violently. I love a member of staff with a sense of humour!

I call in the SB with Qh 9d and the lad with his arm in a brace checks. Flop comes Ad 2d 4h. We both remark what a dangerous flop that is and check. 4th turns out to be 5d. Time for a stab. I bet 2000 and he folds and shows Kh 7d. “Doesn’t matter what you have, too dangerous,” he says.

Blinds are 800/1600. There’s this young kid who looks like a floater. A number of times he looks like he’s been calling just to put in a massive bet on 4th or river and take it away. I have been watching him closely. I exchange glances with the player who has his arm in a brace. We both seem to know what is going on. I’m on the button with A2 spades and it’s folded around to me. The floater kid is in the BB. I had been goading him earlier when I raised with AQ saying “I know you’re going to call, I know I’ve got a customer there.” He had smiled and folded. “No surely not, I can’t believe it,” I added. I raise to 3200. He calls. Flop comes A 9 2 rainbow. I bet 4000. He calls. There’s a rag on 4th and I bet 6000. He fiddles with his chips. He is wondering whether I am strong and is clearly thinking about making a move. He folds. I am up to about 30,000.

Blinds are 1000/2000. 5 left. The floater kid calls in early position. It’s folded around to me in the BB with Q8.  I check. The flop comes 2 A 8 rainbow. I check, so does he. There’s the 4 hearts on 4th which makes 2 hearts. I bet 4000. He calls. The river brings the jack of hearts and I check. He fires in 7000. The kid just stares down at his chips. “If you had an ace why didn’t you bet it preflop hmmm!?…..hmmm!!??” I was sounding like Doctor Who as played by William Hartnell. This kid was a floater and I wasn’t about let him get away easy or quickly. I was going to make him suffer. ”You’d have bet the ace under the gun preflop at this stage surely? Why didn’t you bet the ace? You haven’t made the flush, and I have to be really unlucky if you’ve hit the jack. Curiosity is bad in this game,” I was grilling him for about 2 minutes. Medium rare. I continued, “How much do I have left? Hmmm not a lot. I just don’t know. Why did you not bet the ace preflop hmmm? That’s the one question? Okay I call.” I threw in the 7000 and saw the kid squirm as I did so. He had nothing. “Not even bottom pair,” as the player with the arm in a brace remarked. “No, he’s a floater,” I declared. “He calls bets just to bluff on a later street.” I really wanted to rub the kid’s nose in it. “Good call,” some commented. I’m not saying he couldn’t have had an ace. He could have been calling to trap, but when you have a floater who has been playing like that on a number of hands you have to back your judgement and the odds. He can’t have a hand every time. He threw away 4000 on 4th and 7000 on the river, so 11,000 of his chips had floated over to my stack. My stack is up to 47,000.

The under the gun player raises to 6000. I look down at JJ and am not happy. This is a solid player and he has 50,000. He hasn’t stepped out of line since I have been playing. I call. Flop comes T 8 3 rainbow. I bet 10,000 and he flat calls. There’s a 2 on 4th. He bets all in. I know I am beat. I cannot beat AA KK QQ TT or 88. I can only beat a missed AK or AQ or possibly 99. It’s an easy fold. A class player would have found it an easy fold. I call after an age of mental torture, and he turns over TT. He grimaces as I turn over my hand because he realises how far he was behind pre flop. Doesn’t matter. I played the hand badly and got knocked out. The flat call on the flop should have told me everything. A class player would have found it an easy fold. 5 hours of hard work and I have thrown it away. 5th place gets his money back, and that’s all. In those 5 hours I have seen AQ 3 times, QQ twice, the JJ where I got knocked out, and 33. The 33 was in early position at the final table and I just threw it away. They were the only decent starting hands, unless you include the KQo. I was playing well until that last hand. One mistake too many.

It’s official. Poker is a sport. The media keep referring to it as a sport. Poker players keep calling themselves sportsmen and refer to “other sports” when talking about poker. TV has it marked as a sport and shows it in slots where sport usually goes. So it’s a sport. This means I’m a sportsman. Yes!

Look at Gus Hansen. He spends hours continually shovelling in chips with the worst hand. That takes a lot out of you. You have to be really fit to do that. I spend hour after hour at home, sitting at the table, practising pushing in chips, and handling chips with both my left AND right hands. That’s dedication. That takes stamina and fitness. I could keep fit by going to the gym or having sex every night, but I’m not that sad. No, I’m dedicated. Dedicated to the game.

At last poker is recognised as a sport, and about time too. So shouldn’t it be taken that final step? Yes, I’m talking Olympics here. They should be getting rid of rowing, yachting, equestrian, and all those other crappy sports, that aren’t really sport at all, to make way for something far more popular and sporting. Poker really fits the bill.

I could even be a gold medallist. I could put in some more hours at the table. I really need to build up that stamina and sporting prowess. It’s not too late. Coming from the UK, it looks like poker, underwater archery, and some bird in a boat are probably our best hopes for London 2012. It makes me truly proud to come from a country where Dave “Devilfish” Ulliott is the greatest sportsman we have ever produced.

Sorry about the length of time between posts.  A lot of work lately and the next two entries are going to be hard to keep my supper down as I walk you through them (if I haven’t given them away already)

7:15 p.m. tournament
Taj Mahal, Atlantic City
Buy-in $50 + $15
59 players

First off, let me tell you about the latest joker.  This kid who sit’s at my first table is going on and on about how he has won 4 tournaments in the last week…  he’s the best thing Atlantic City has ever seen…..  His uncle pimps out his aunt on the 2nd Sunday of every month (ok..ok  that’s not true…  he said he won 3 tournaments  lol).  Now after all this he gets to heads up with some girl and she has A-4, he has 8-6 of spades and says he was the favorite before the flop.  That takes us to our first notable hand….

Blinds at 50-100 I raise from the button with A-Q to 550.  Three callers.  Flop is K-J-5 rainbow.  Everyone checks.  Turn is a 7.  A check and a bet of 1250.  I flat call intending to bluff the river into the idiot we just talked about previously.  Now heads up, river is the ace of hearts.  He bets 1250 again and I flat call.  He shows Q-J and goes insane when I turn up A-Q.  I told him that I thought I had 8-6 and couldn’t fold an open-ender on the turn.  If you look up “monkey tilt” in Webster’s Dictionary…  you’ll see this kid’s face. Then he has the balls to offer me a “last longer bet”.  Although somewhat self-explanatory, I will explain.  He wanted to bet that he would last longer in the tournament than I did.  He has about 5500 left, I had about 16,000.  So I politely had the dealer stop the action at the table and made the following announcement…  “Since it has come to my attention that you have won 58 tournaments in the last 5 hours, you must be up a substantial amount of money, so peel off a dime and let’s do this or shut your fuckin mouth” and I peel off 10 benji’s and hand them to the dealer.  Needless to say, he shut his friggin trap and was dismissed soon after.

The reason I dragged that on is because I went rediculously card dead for the next 60 minutes and nothing special happened until after the first break.

Blinds now 500-1000  100 ante.  Fold to me on button with 9-5 diamonds and I try to steal with a raise to 3500.  BB defends and we see a flop.  Flop comes 10-4-2. Turn is a 5.  River Pairs the 10.  It’s checked all the way and his A-K falls to the 9-5 I sheepishly now have to show him.  A mistake not to bet the turn here.  I could have gotten the same result without having to show down.  I pick up 5000 and now have about 14,000.

Raise from early position and I ship it with A-K spades for a little under 16,000.  He calls and shows jacks.  Ace on the flop, nut flush by the river. Now up to 35,000.

Down to 19 players with 6 making the money I raise from EP with A-J.  Shove by the BB.  I call and he shows A-10.  Flop has a ten and I am down to 13,000 heading into the second break.

Back from second break with blinds 1500-3000  500 ante.  Raise from mid position with A-4 called by BB.  Board reads Q-J-8-8-3.  Checked all the way down and ace high holds.  Now up to 34,500.  Should I have tried to steal this pot?  Hindsight being 20/20…  Of course.  But since my stack wasn’t sufficient enough to make a meaningful bet and not commit myself, I was stuck hoping I would get a free pass.  A bigger mistake on my opponents part.

Right before third break I double up an A-Qs calling it with A-Js.  Down to 16,000 heading into third break.

Nothing but steals after third break and get bounced 13th when my A-J shove is called by pocket 4’s and don’t improve.

Overall, I think I played well.  No major mistakes were made as far as I can recollect, bluffs were timed right, no unnecessary chances, just couldn’t win the coin flip.  A couple of 3-to-1’s didn’t go my way but I highly doubt that even if they did, the outcome would have been any different.

Grumpy – I really wish I could find some omaha games live, but just like 7 card stud, people are not playing. I think the reason is the kids like to play holdem cos they can whack it all in and hope for the best. They have more chance of getting lucky with holdem than they do with stud or omaha. A lot have now gone broke, but at least they had a run where they got lucky. Holdem gives them that chance. Stud is dead over here in the UK. Hardly anyone now plays omaha either. When I first started playing I found myself sitting at the table with ”grumpy old men,” as Dave Colclough once put it. Although the poker explosion has brought some new blood to the game, a lot of the time I now find myself playing against grumpy old men once again. The only difference is, I am now one of those grumpy old men.

A poker table is the one place where I can stare at a beautiful woman and they don’t send for the police.

Back your judgement - I get Ks Kh in the BB. 3 or 4 limped in and a late position player who is one of those highly aggressive rubbish type players (30 ish not young) raised £5. Great! I raise it another £10 and he calls. Please god don’t let an ace come! Flop comes Ac 6d Ts. Shit!

I bet £10, he calls. If he had reraised here I would have folded and saved the rest of my chips but he just calls. 4th comes 4c. I check. I have £16 left. He bets £15. I look at him. I say “I really really didn’t want to see that ace. That’s all I didn’t want to see.” He says “I left you one.” It was the way he said it. A movement in his face, his tone, his facial expression. He didn’t reraise when I bet £10. I didn’t think he had the ace. I said to myself, “If you want to play this game well, you have to back your judgement. If your judgement isn’t very good, you shouldn’t be playing. If your judgement is good and you don’t back it you shouldn’t be playing.” I threw in my last £16 and hedged my bets by saying “go on take it.” He shook his head, “I don’t have it.” Music to my ears! “I need a 9,” he said. I turn over my kings and the dealer deals the nine of clubs on the river. He turns over 7-8 offsuit. He called my £10 bet on the flop with nothing but an inside straight to hit. He had hit a double belly buster on the turn, but I’m not sure he even realised it.

The hand was a mini revelation. It made me realise I had to trust my judgement more. If you have bad judgement, you shouldn’t be playing poker.  If you have good judgement and you don’t back it, you shouldn’t be playing poker. So be willing to back your own judgement, if your senses are screaming out to do something. Yes, sometimes they will let you down, and you’ll tell yourself that you’re an idiot for not following your head. (The head in your hands, how could I call on THAT board feeling.) But having good instincts and backing them, is one of the most important qualitites that sets poker players apart. Of course I had played that hand very well, in my own humble opinion. I had made the correct decision based on my own good judgememnt. I had correctly reraised preflop to get as much money as possible into the pot while I was ahead. I did everything right, and still got screwed. I hate the game.

There are more important things than poker. Like playing poker for more money – At the start of last year I did something I generally dont do. Call a bet hoping to hit a draw. It’s an awful habit, especially when you’re not drawing to the nuts. I was in a £50 tourney with about 50 players. Starting stack was 5000 chips and I was up to about 8000 on the 3rd level of 100/200. I caught my spade on the river and called a large bet. It was only the queen of spades, so I just called as my opponnent was betting with some confidence. “You got the ace of spades?” I asked. “No, I got the queen,” was the reply. “No, I got the queen,” I said. Since my opponent was highly skilled and highly experienced I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked down to see the queen of spades and ten of clubs had metamorphosed into the queen of clubs and ten of spades. I usually check my cards twice, but my eyes were killing me, along with my head, so I could hardly see my cards at all. It hurt to look at anything. It hurt to drive to the venue with my eyes in a permanent squint. It hurt to look at anything at all. Vision was blurred and my eyes sent shards of pain through my head. This resulted in splitting migraines.

I told my sad tale of the misread in the break, to a guy who has been playing for upwards of 40 years at very high levels. He told me about a 2 day £1000 tourney that he had bought in to. He was doing well and down to the last 3 tables. He looked down at pocket 7’s and reraised all in when he hit trips. Only problem was he hadn’t squeezed the cards properly and those pocket 7’s turned out to be 3/7o. He got knocked out on a rag 3/7o after 2 days hard work! Made me feel a little better. Even the best can screw it all up. A few days later my doctor was really worried I was losing my sight and I got sent to an eye specialist. Thankfully my eyes are now fine, and it at least puts things a little into perspective. Occasionally there are thing more important than a piddling £50 tournament. It’s just when you’re playing, nothing else seems to matter.

You might just as well play two random cards – I was at a finals table and there was a raise under the gun. A player in middle position called, and I reraised a gigantic amount which said “I have a massive hand, I am pot committed.” The original raiser folded because he knew my game. The caller called for half his stack. The flop comes with a Q 9 rag. The caller checks and I push all in. He calls and turns over pocket tens. He finds a straight draw on the turn which misses. I shake my head. “Well I had a pair of tens, what do you expect me to do with tens?” “Throw them away,” I replied. There are many occasions where you are actually better playing two random cards than a small to medium pair or rag ace, because if you are against a big ace or big pair with those hands you are a massive underdog. Two suited connector cards are better than a small to medium pair against an overpair. Okay, they were tens, but tens are just one pair, and a not particularly good one at that. Against a raise and reraise or the situation I have described they should be in the muck, especially against a player like myself. The action tells you a great amount where you are in a hand.