When you are running bad there is an almost supernatural aura that surrounds you. You usually get to the turn and someone shouts out the one card that your opponent needs to hit on the river, or they say “drawing dead” (incorrectly), and it’s guaranteed your opponent is going to hit that one card they need. You see the negative look in your opponent’s eye. The shake of the head. The “oh I’ve got no chance,” followed by total surprise and delight. After all they must be terribly unlucky to call a reraise with KT only to run into AK from the tightest player at the table. Then there’s only the river to come but you know it’s going to hit feeling. No doubt. The look and the relief. “Oh how lucky I am, it’s a miracle” sort of look. No it isn’t a miracle, it’s just the magic of poker, that means no matter how bad they get their chips in against someone running bad, they will hit that miracle card every time. I wish I could bestow such luck and cause such pleasure in real life. But oh no, it’s only at the poker table. I think I have won about 4 all ins out of the last 20. Most of those I was 70 per cent favourite. It doesn’t take long to even out, in fact I had a great run last year so I can’t complain too much. But when you go through even a mini phase of being unable to win any really big all ins at vital moments, it is soul destroying.

I had a reasonable start in my last tourney. Then I got all my chips in with AK and A K 3 and two diamonds on board. Naturally my opponent was drawing to a flush, naturally they had the odds to call, and naturally they hit. At least it hit straight away on 4th that time. The tourney before that it was all in with AQ against AT and the ten hit. So here is tonight’s sorry tale. I’m not saying I played particularly well. In fact, at the moment I am playing particularly badly. But if you continue to get your chips in good and your opponents continue to hit, it does mean you are running badly. In fact I would use this as a definition of running badly. No matter how good or bad you are, or how good or bad you are playing is irrelevant. If every time you get your chips in good, and you lose the majority of them, I think you can say you are running badly. So it isn’t really about good or bad play in my opinion. Running bad merely means you are getting outdrawn a lot on the hands where you are getting your chips in with the best of it. It’s that simple.

£50 freezout. 5000 starting chips. 30 minute blinds. 25/50 starting blinds. I am under the gun and raise for the first time this evening with AK. I raise to 200. I get reraised to 800 in middle position by someone who hasn’t put in a pre flop raise so far. Maybe he has me down as weak tight. Maybe he is correct. Maybe he is an idiot (in which case I’ll catch him later). Maybe he has AQ. I ponder a bit. Some would reraise here, some would just call. I fold. If you want to call this poor play and weak tight, go ahead. I do think AK is the most overrated hand in poker. I am not risking my tourney on a drawing hand at the start. If you have a bad feeling about any hand, follow your instincts. I did. Later on I didn’t, and that’s what killed me. Once around the table and I’m sitting on QQ in the BB. The same opponent raises to 275 from middle position. He probably has me down as weak tight. I raise him another 600 and he folds. I had the hand to do it. Would I have tried it with A3 or ATC?  Probably not. It’s why I’m not a top player.

I limp in with 8h Th in early position. There’s also a call from the same opponent and an oriental TAG player in late. The flop comes 7 9 J rainbow. I flopped the straight. There are 3 others in the pot so I bet 200. There’s a minimum reraise from the oriental. The BB folds. There’s a 5 on 4th. It’s the second club on board. I bet 1000. I get called in 2 places. There’s a 5 on the river. I did not want to see this. I decide to check. If someone has the house then I’m out anyway. I decide to check and call because I decide it’s unlikely anyone has trip 5’s. They may have a house, so it’s unlikely I’ll get called by any hand that is second to mine. It’s checked down and the other 2 muck.

Blinds are 50/100. My early opponent is down to a little over 2000 in chips. There are 3 calls and he moves all in. I know he has a hand of some sort. The table idiot decides to call with Kh 7h “well I thought I was against a small pair,” he said afterwards. They’d have to be fu**ing small to creep under that 7 I thought. Naturally the king hits. He was a nice enough young lad, but he did seem to be hitting every rubbish hand he was playing. Later on he also called another big all in from one of the tightest players at the table. The tight player had A9 and the idiot thought QK diamonds was a great hand to call this with. Well I’ve seen worse I suppose. The A9 was no match and another player was done.

The next hand was my undoing. I should have followed my instincts, although I am starting to think my instincts aren’t worth shit at the moment. I have about 8000 in chips. I limp in early with Ah 9s. Okay maybe I should be raising, but with those sort of hands in early, I like to limp as I can get away from them if there’s a raise. If you think it’s bad play, take it up with TJ Cloutier who also has said he likes to limp with hands such as AT or AJ early in tournaments, as he can just fold them without costing too much. There is one other caller and the BB to my right checks. Flop comes 9h Th Jh. (Omigod it’s an internet flop, you see about one of those a tournament.) The BB bets 200. I call. The other player calls. Js comes on 4th. The BB bets 400. I call and the other player folds. This is all very dangerous. There is the straight flush very clearly on board. How many outs do I really have? The Kh comes on the river. The BB puts in her last 2600. I agonise for minutes over this one. I keep saying “straight flush? I know you got the staright flush, you have to have the straight flush.” You see, there was no raise pre flop so I didn’t fear quads or a full house. It was the queen of hearts that I feared my opponent had. Since the king hit, she needed to have the queen of hearts for the straight flush. I went against my instincts and called. She turns over Jd Qh. She’d had trips by 4th and made the straight flush on the river. It’s a hand I probably should have got away from, but everyone else was saying I had to call as I had pot odds etc. I was unhappy and said “if you want to play the game to win, you have to be good enough to get away from those.” Either way I knew that was it for me. Here I did not get my chips in good. I was behind all the way and when I hit it was the second best hand. It was poor play.

I got down to about 2 or 3000, went all in once or twice, hit a pair on a couple of occasions, but never enough to keep me going for long. I finally had AK when I was down to just 2000 in chips. Got called by KJ. I knew what was going to happen. This was the first all in decision all night. I was resigned to my fate. Flop came A Q J 4 T. Yes, someone called “ten” before the river, so I knew it was hitting. It gave me the straight too, but quite honestly I just wanted to get out of there. The game just feels bad at times.

Had A9 in the BB. The table idiot raises double the BB in early. I considered reraising all in. Probably should have. Flop comes T 9 2. A few minutes earlier the guy had hit 2 pair playing T 2. I bet 500 from my 3000 in chips. I got reraised another 1500, so it’s basically all in. I felt I was behind. I folded. At least he was sporting enough to turn over a ten. When I’m in the BB with just 2000 left and 400 of it is in the BB the table idiot raises double the BB again. From a great player this could be a massive hand, but this guy has been doing this all night and then folding on the flop or hitting rubbish hands like he is the chosen one. Okay it’s all in with my KT. I am probably behind, but I’m dying out there. He turns over AQ. Well I can’t win one at the moment where I go in as 70 per cent favourite, there’s no way I’m winning this one.

Game over. Okay this is a big whinge. But I am posting it simply because if you play long enough you will go through these phases where there seem to be supernatural forces conspiring against you. It does turn. It takes a while, but it does turn. You go through this phase where not only do your big starting hands get mown down all in, but you also find your opponents hitting those miracle cards on 4th and river, and at the same time you do find yourself actually hitting a hand, only for it to be second best. You are so desperate to get anything going you go with it. I have seen far better players than myself face these almost supernatural forces. It’s a good enough reason to watch poker on tv too. The game doesn’t single anyone out. It’s just phases we all go through. The worst feeling at the moment, is that whenever I get my chips in good, rarely do I win the decision. That’s just poker. But it is also affecting my judgement badly, as it did tonight. I knew my opponent had the straight flush. Worse than that, I was chasing. If you chase knowing that if you hit it may not be the best hand then it is poor play. I failed to follow my instinct. On the river It was an odds call rather than a gut instinct call, but I played badly overall tonight.  

As a late addition, yes I know I should have bet the straight, even with two 5’s on board. There was no preflop raise, therefore it is highly unlikely that someone had the house. But if a player had a pair, and the 5’s meant they had two pair, or they originally had two pair and the 5’s meant their 2 pair was counterfeited, they may well have made a crying call on the river. Another example of how badly I am playing. I am so used to being sucked out on, that I am fearing those demons under the bed far too much. I was waiting to see what could possibly arrive on the river to stuff me. I feared a card that may make a better straight for one of my opponents. It didn’t arrive and I still didn’t value bet because I didn’t have the absolute nuts. I have to break out from that sort of mentality.